WTF

So, apparently the last time I shared my thoughts was on March 7th. I really don't have any excuses as to why that is but I am back and ready.

To be honest, I really don't know what is going on with me. It really is the same old story: I have absolutely no motivation to do anything at all. Cleaning, working out, blogging, you name it, I don't do it. I have a pretty boring life, so it is not like I am super busy or something. I really should have an immaculate home and I really should have lost a good amount of weight by this point with all the time I have but nope. I sleep, and play Facebook games all day. Oh and I just started watching the stupid soaps again. Hell, I should have completed reading the Quran, in Arabic, several times over already! So what the heck is going on?! Am I depressed? I don't want to think that I am but I really need to face the facts and admit that it is possible. I know one thing for sure though. I am so lonely. Yes, I have my husband and stepdaughter, but I think that right now, they are not enough for me. I really want to be around my Mom and siblings. I miss them so much. I know I need to visit them but I am scared of flying, 1) for the obvious reasons like the plane may fall from the sky and the fear of heights thing and 2.) because I am a Muslim woman and there is just too damn much profiling going on right now and I don't know how I will handle being without my husband if something were to happen. Hopefully, I can figure something out soon, cause I am going nuts without my family.
On a good note, while I haven't been very consistent with doing my at home workouts, I have been going walking with BG. It is getting much easier and the hubby has even started to come along which is awesome because I feel much safer out there at night when he is with us.(SN: I find it hilarious that I don't like being anywhere without my husband so that he can protect me if something were to happen, but when it seems like something is going down I get scared that he will do something. A topic to explore another time I guess).
My goal for the next two weeks is to be more consistent with my at home workouts and still keep my commitment with walking with BG. I plan to workout everyday but Sunday for the next fourteen days at home at a reasonable time and to still go for the 3 mile walk at the park. And also to be more consistent with writing about it because I notice that when I share what I am doing, I am more motivated to keep it up. So inshaAllah, we shall see. Duas please. :)